Sara: The hiatus is officially over, chat! Sara Mitsunaga hath returned to the realm of the living!

Arms outstretched in a jubilant pose, Sara explodes into the Newspaper Clubroom as usual, only to be met by the sight of empty chairs and slumbering computers. The muffled sound of a baseball being hit out of the park, creeping in through the open window, cuts through the silence as she maintains her heroic posture for several seconds, like an ill-fitting statue. Her eyes shift to and fro, looking for an audience, but finding none.

Sara: First!

Unwilling to let being the first one to arrive deter her, she darts towards the chief’s desk — ostentatiously labeled “editor-in chief”— only to immediately snap back into her pose when she hears the door sliding open once more. The chief barely seems to acknowledge her, but at least her fateful companion does.

Yosuke: Who gave you a key?

Sara: The door was unlocked, and the window was open when I came in. That can only mean one thing… The killer must still be in the room with us!

Koharu: Came in here during lunch break. Left it open.

Yosuke: Tsk tsk, miss editor-in-chief. There’s confidential information being kept here. Not to mention expensive computers.

Koharu: (seeming not getting the obvious joke, she solemnly nods) You’re right. Should be more careful.

Sara: (she puffs out her chest) If you’re not, a little Mitsunaga might sneak back in even after you’ve callously cast her out. But in case you were wondering, it was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was brought here by h—

Yosuke: Been a long weekend, huh?

Sara: Well, couple of days, yeah. Or weeks, even. My heart’s been crying out for the musty smell of this old clubroom.

Yosuke: … Are you off your meds? You’re making even less sense than usual.

Koharu: (idly gazing out of the window, she mutters a reply) … Turned in the article about the student council’s financial report last Friday, didn’t you? Read it. It was good.

Sara: Ah! Oh… Did I? Must’ve slipped my mind. Guess it must’ve been one hell of a weekend if I thought I’d been absent for a whole week. Yes.

Hanako: (Entering with Seia, Hanako sets a small notebook on Koharu’s desk) Okay, my report is ready. Hopefully it’s up to standard, now that I’m done being, erm… distracted. S-Sorry again.

Koharu: Don’t worry. You can take your time. It’s worth the wait.

Sara: Hey, how come I wasn’t worth the wait?

Yosuke: Because you never make anyone wait. You’re here more than Koharu is.

Sara: Am not!

Seia: (She has been quietly feeling around her computer, looking for her braille input device. She eventually finds it at Sara’s computer, where she moves it whenever Sara is out to be farther from the window and out of the sun. She breathes a sigh of relief) Have you been fooling around with my braille machine?

Sara: That thing’s expensive, isn’t it?

Seia: Yes, very.

Yosuke: That doesn’t answer the question.

Koharu: … She didn’t touch it. She couldn’t have. She wasn’t here. One of the first-years might’ve misplaced it cleaning up.

Yosuke: But, she turned in that article about the… about the thing, right?

Koharu: There’s— (she clears her throat) Get to work, everyone. (she looks at Sara, then at Hanako — as if asking for Hanako to trust her — and eventually at Yosuke) Yosuke. Boardroom.

Hanako: (A bit confused, Hanako still nods at Koharu, then turns back to Sara and Seia) The thing is, Sara-chan, Seia needs this equipment…

As Hanako offers a distraction, Yosuke follows Koharu into the makeshift boardroom, closing the door behind him. As Koharu sinks into her chair, she keeps her voice down.

Koharu: That article about the student council’s report—

Yosuke: Honestly, I’m surprised Mitsunaga even cared enough about a topic like that to actually write the puff piece you told her to. 

Koharu: But I didn’t. There is no such article. I never told her to write anything like that. But she acted as though she had.

Yosuke: … Are you sure about that? Because I do seem to remember—

Koharu: I am sure.

Yosuke: But last… Tuesday, I think, you— I mean, we have the records, I can check if you want to, I mean, I can imagine you’ve got a lot on your plate—

Koharu: (she stares at him with earnest and eager intention) Yosuke. I never made her write an article like that. I just made it up. Because she lies. She lies all the time. She just makes things up, and everyone believes her every single time. I know. I know.

Yosuke: I don—I don’t believe a word she says. Why would I trust any of her nonsense when y—

Koharu: So was she absent for more than a week, or was she never gone?

Yosuke: I mean, she said she’d been gone, but I distinctly remember her being here last Friday—

Koharu: She misspoke. She forgot to go along in the lie she’s spinning. Finally confirmed what I’ve been suspecting all this time.

Yosuke: Are you sure you’re not overthinking this?

Koharu: This is not the first time. Never noticed she always seems to say the right thing at the right time? Know things she’s not supposed to know? Do you remember ever telling her about the existence of magic? Introducing her to the people at the gym? It’s like she’s been written into our lives. It doesn’t make any sense.

Yosuke: L-Look, I know she can be… a lot, but— I mean, there’s that story about her c-cousin, right? That’s how she found out about magic, and then—

Koharu: You believe any of that? Where’s her proof?

Yosuke: I mean… Why would I not? Why would I—I mean, you believed me when I told you about Junna, right, even though, I didn’t exactly give you any proof, so— I mean, I don’t wanna be the kind of person who doesn’t take people on their word.

Koharu: So why don’t you take me on my word?

He blinks a few times, before bowing his head. She is right. He’s such an idi—

Koharu: I know that’s not fair of me to say.

Yosuke: You… You think she’s a Puella? Using magic to, I dunno, like, insert herself into our lives?

Koharu: I think I can prove it. You have that group picture, right?

Yosuke: Righ—Of course! (he slaps his forehead with the palm of his hand) Obviously! 

Exasperated, he immediately flicks the “on” switch on his camera, hanging from the lanyard around his neck. As Koharu huddles up with him, he looks for the most recent picture he took with Sara in it and zooms in on her face. Taking a deep breath, he invites the device to work its magic and show him the mysterious girl’s past, even though he still doesn’t know how it works in the slightest. He ties to focus, his vision glazes over—

Yosuke: Ngh! (he clutches his head, dropping the camera, which is mercifully spared a terrible fate by the lanyard) … Agh, fuck. (he grits his teeth in pain) Damnit!

Koharu: (she puts a hand on his shoulder in a rare display of physical affaction) You okay?

Yosuke: (he grimaces, still with his fingers massaging his forehead) There’s—

Koharu: What did you see? Was I right?

Yosuke: No, there’s— I mean… yes, I guess, I—

Koharu: What do you mean?

Yosuke: There’s nothing there. It’s… It’s not even like it’s being obscured or anything, like with— it’s more like… she has no past. I can’t even see the events of her past that we were present for, it’s just… nothing. Like she only came into being in the moment on the photo.

Koharu: Or… (her eyes shift towards the door, behind which Sara is likely causing her usual trouble) … this very moment right now.

Yosuke: (he whispers) … What the hell does that mean? Is she like… she only exists when we think she exists? That sounds like something out of a science fiction movie…

Koharu: Seen stranger things.

Yosuke: Well, we shouldn’t be making crazy assumptions like that, but I mean… What else could this be?

Koharu: I… don’t know, Yosuke. I don’t know.