As the sun begins its slow march towards the horizon Mitakihara University’s School of Arts, Alice is sitting on the edge of the fountain in the middle of the campus’ courtyard, plucking away at her guitar to find an improvement on the melody playing in her ears, which she hastily recorded during a tutoring session earlier this day. As she turns the tuning peg on her A-string, she notices a woman walking underneath the peristyle, looking too old to be a co-ed, but too unfamiliar to be a teacher. She thanks a student for showing her the way, almost immediately turning her attention to Alice. She approaches quickly and with purpose, stopping a few feet away from Alice. 

Melati: Hello. I suspect Yui may have already told you I’m around, but I’m Melati. I had a few questions I wanted to ask you. 

Alice: (she doesn’t look up from tuning her guitar) Sorry, but… What makes you think I’ll answer these questions? I appreciate your approach, but we’re still on different sides.

Melati: Well, I suspect we may be on the same side on at least one thing, which is exposing any wrongdoing by Kyubey. (She pulls out a notepad) I’m still looking into it, but… I’ve heard that he took the life of your aunt, Mikoto Rinju, possibly without going through any Balancer?

Alice: (she scoffs) Sure did. Didn’t take him a lot of effort, though. That against the protocol, or… You trying to make a case against Kyubey?

Melati: I’m sorry for your loss. (She makes a note of something in her notepad) Yes, it is against protocol. I’m sure you must have wondered why, since he has power over Soul Gems in the first place, why he needed to recruit a group of Puellae instead of simply doing the job himself. Being required to go through human collaborators is an important step. 

Alice: … Why? It’s a complete waste of time for anyone involved. The Incubators could just do the dirty work themselves, and it’s not like the collaborators get anything out of it.

Melati: His public– that is, others of Kyubey’s race– still care about the ethical considerations of what they’re doing. Although the purpose is to harvest energy from the transition to Witch, there are still rules in place on what he can or can’t do. For example, you’ll never have seen an Incubator forcibly make someone into a Puella without them making a wish. At least, I certainly hope you haven’t.

Alice: Kyubey doesn’t do that either. I should know. 

Melati: If they truly had no rules at all, you’d expect them to be contracting all of humanity as they please, no? Having the approval of human collaborators in their Balancings is an important ethical step. Though… (She speaks with some disdain) Depending on the quality of one’s recruits, they may not add much in the way of ethics. 

Alice: I’d say the very nature of your “Balancings” is unethical. Let alone misleading all of your “recruits”. Stop lying to yourself.

Melati: I’m not an Incubator. I’ve never been in charge of that kind of thing. Neither I nor my Incubator would hire anyone like the one who derailed that train, I can promise you that. 

Alice: Congratulations for only being complicit in murdering the right people, then. (she sighs) Suppose I’ve got nothing to fear from you, then?

Melati: No. I’m only here to investigate. An operation like this needs people like me, too. 

Alice: (she looks at the woman before answering) … The way you say that, do you believe that this “operation” of the Incubators is something that needs to exist? A… necessary evil, or maybe even a kind of peacekeeping? (it’s a genuine question, not a sarcastic jab)

Melati: (She nods, solemn) I know you might have a different impression, since the only Balancing you have experience with is the one that happened here recently. But, now and then, there are Puellae who use their power or their wish for some truly evil things. I’ve seen it. I suspect you’ve seen it, too. 

Alice: It’s that why you’re doing this? I… can’t really imagine Kyubey and its ilk making any real distinction between the good Puellae and the bad ones. They call it “balancing” for a reason, and not auditing or inquisition or whatever.

Melati: Well… it’s lucky that the ones who cause major disruptions are usually also the bad ones. I understand you had some personal experience with the one who caused the train derailment here.

Alice: I’m talking about the targets, you know? Of course they’re picking the biggest nutjobs to do their dirty work. But you can’t convince me the Incubators care whether the girls they mark for death use their powers for good or for evil. (she pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing again) … But sure, let’s assume that these “Balancings” are inevitable — necessary, even — which is what I assume your point of view is — are you investigating Kyubey for, like, professional misconduct? You’re saying there’s Incubators who aren’t pathologically lying, back-stabbing little creeps?

Melati: There’s an entire species where Kyubey came from. Of course they’re not all the same any more than every human is the same. So, yes, I am investigating him. Though killing someone by himself is already quite above the level of “misconduct.” 

Alice: Well, forgive me for assuming, but I can’t really see a… less scummy approach to the whole trading wishes for people’s souls business. I could believe people taking on this contract willingly, even knowing the risks — I mean, I know some of them — but I can’t imagine there being a particularly high demand. Martyr complexes like Yui’s aren’t exactly common.

Melati: (She shakes her head) This is really a question you should take up with your local Incubator, or mine. I’m not in charge of granting contracts, you know. 

Alice: I know. And you know what I’m actually trying to say, too, but you pretend not to. I know you’re obviously very concerned about Kyubey’s abuse, but surely you understand that the very nature of what the Incubators do is abusive. You’re essentially trying to clean a house built out of dirt. (she mutters to herself) … Hey, that’s a pretty good line.

Melati: Hahaha. (With a smile) Speaking as a former resident of a dirt house… it still needs to be kept clean. Short of the Incubators stopping completely… no, even if they did today, there would still be rogue Puellae to deal with. And rogue Incubators, too. That’s what I’m here for.

Alice: Well, if you’re here to drag that little weasel off to whatever the space equivalent of The Hague is, then be my fucking guest. With my regards. (she mutters again) Though I doubt he even remembers who I am. He wouldn’t give a shit about the collateral damage even if it beat him into paste. (she plucks one of her strings) Trust me, I can know.

Melati: I heard that you and Yui also knew Satomi Yasuda-san before she became a Balancer. He recruited someone you personally knew to perform a Balancing here? 

Alice: I… kinda knew her the way everyone in town kinda knew her. I don’t think I really got to see… who she really was. But there was serious bad blood between her and Yui. Something far deeper than just being in rivaling bands, or even, I dunno, weird unresolved sexual tension. I guess Yui kinda represented something to Shiori — Satomi — she couldn’t deal with. And Kyubey stoked that into a hatred towards the entire world, all for the sake of his Balancing. Set her off to go scorched earth on the whole city when he was just supposed to pull weeds, so to say.

Melati: That’s part of the reason it’s best not to recruit a Balancer to handle a job when they have a personal connection. Most of the others were from outside the country. 

Alice: Yeah, real “we assembled a task force of all the best and brightest in the world” vibes going on there, huh.

Melati: Yes, I’m afraid Kyubey tends to value violence and disposability in his team-building, over more important characteristics. 

Alice: I’m just— (she can’t help but chuckle) Sorry, I’m not gonna bring this up again.

Melati: … How did you find out about your aunt Mikoto, if I can ask? 

Alice: Find out what? That she was one of you guys? She told me, basically.

Melati: (She nods, writing it down in her notepad) I see. I meant about her manner of death. 

Alice: My… sister witnessed it. She… was also a Puella Magi.

Melati: … Esther, was it? I see. Alright, I’ll investigate this then. If Kyubey is responsible, well… he might not be your local Incubator for much longer.

Yui: Oh, you are so full of shit!

An unmistakable voice from across the courtyard, the loud, boisterous call that could only belong to Yui Arashi. Beside her, however, an old friend, and immediately followed by a rather hearty laugh.

Yui: You think fuckin’ Tic Tacs or whatever that fuckin’ band is called is gonna pose even a snowball’s chance in hell against us? You’re full of shit! The only one of those bands in our competition that I even consider a threat is $T-3AM!

Naomi: Pretty sure you just pronounce it “steam”… if that’s their actual name and not the lead singer’s password.

Melati: (She only glances in Yui and Naomi’s direction) Guess it’s about time for me to get to work, then. If you remember anything else about your aunt, I’d appreciate if you’d send me word. (She leaves her business card on the edge of the fountain, turning and walking away casually) 

Naomi: Someone tryna hit on your aunt?

Alice: You wish.

Yui: Yo, Alice. Settle a bet, will ya? This fuckin’ guy, he thinks TAKTIKS has a shot against us in the upcoming Battle of the Bands, can you believe this shit? Every month, I swear, it’s something new with him.

The duo finally reach Alice’s location, and Yui looks around.

Yui: You uh, talkin’ to someone here, babe?

Alice: (she looks up) Yeah. I’ll tell you about it later.

Yui: (She silently nods, catching the meaning right away)

Naomi: Hey, is that a new guitar?

Alice: No, I’ve had this one for a while. This one is, eh, actually mine, I guess. I mean, I bought it myself. The yellow Telecaster I got from my aunt.

Naomi: (he whistles) Gotta be one hell of an aunt. What’re we looking at here?

Alice: It’s an… alder Jazzmaster II with a panorama tremolo and Seymour Duncan Antiquity pickups. I didn’t know you knew anything about guitars. Or not, in case I’m boring you.

Naomi: Oh no, I’ve just got five of ‘em at home for shits and giggles. Can I try?

Alice: Sure… (she stands up, handing Naomi her guitar) It’s not a very special guitar or anything.

Naomi: (he sits down, noodling a tune) It’s your guitar, so that makes it spec—

Alice: Hey… You’re pretty good.

Naomi: I kinda really only play the guitar on the side. You haven’t seen me behind a set of keys yet.

Yui: Yeah, man, what gives? Been teasin’ us about it for like a month now.

Naomi: My, aren’t you just chomping at that bit, huh? It’s like freakin’ Michelangelo is demanding to see the masterpiece a drooling five-year-old scribbled down. I’m not a musician, I just push buttons in my bedroom. (he smirks) But maybe, if you’re nice.

Alice: … What about those five guitars?

Naomi: That, my dear, is called “a lie”. They’re awfully fun. Better get used to tellin’ them once you start having to do interviews.

Alice: Well, I’m glad one of us is confident, at least.

Yui: Tell ya what, man. Next time we get into an interview, we’ll just let you do all the talkin’ then. Now then, mind grabbin’ drinks from the vending machine? You oughta know by now what we like.

Naomi: Elevated to spokesperson, and then demoted to errand boy in one single line. You wound me, Arashi. (he gives Alice back her guitar) … Great piece of kit, gotta add it to the wishlist. I’m gonna hop on by the music store in Ino later on to check some things out. You dorks wanna come with? After the drinks, that is.

Alice: Getting real mixed messages here, but uh… sure.

Naomi: Swell. Need your professional advice, Emerald. (he turns to Yui) And you get to come, too. (he pats both of them on the shoulder before heading inside to find the vending machine)

Yui: Geez, you wound me, Mitsunaga. (Once Naomi is out of earshot, Yui lowers her voice.) You alright, babe? I figure you mean it to be a “at the gym” kinda talk later, right?

Alice: Yeah. It was that Balancer internal affairs woman, Melati. Wanted to know about all the breaches of protocol Kyubey’s been up to, like killing aunt Mikoto. Apparently Incubators aren’t allowed to kill expendables themselves, they gotta do so through human assassins for some fucking reason. I… tried to tell there’s no point trying to audit a system that revolves entirely around manipulating people, but she didn’t seem very receptive.

Yui: Balancers usually aren’t. Confirms what I figured, between the nutjobs that tried and failed to get rid of us, and Diana, and now this. Incubators aren’t worth it, even the ones that ain’t Kyubey.

Alice: She didn’t wanna hear it, though. Like talking to a wall.

Yui: Yeah… that’s about right. I’ll keep my guard up, don’t worry. Naomi’s comin’ back soon, we can pick this back up tonight. …Swear to god though, I haven’t known Naomi all that long, but it already feels like a blur, huh. (She shakes her head) …Like I’ve known ‘em forever. But not that long, either. Maybe I’m just gettin’ old, eh?

Alice: I mean, makes sense you’d get closer quickly after that whole business with you two, I guess.

Yui: Right, yeah. After that… uh… wait, what happened again?

Alice: You know, when you— (she frowns) You know.

Naomi: I know, yes. (back from the vending machine, he tosses Alice a diet soda) I know everything.

Alice: (she catches the drink) Very funny, Mitsunaga.

Yui: (she rolls her eyes) Yeah, yeah, smart-ass. I’m thinking of a number, one-to-ten.

Naomi: I didn’t know you could count to ten. (he tosses Yui her drink)

Yui: (She catches it in one hand) You oughta take this manzai comedy thing on the road someday. Y’know, if you’re still so hellbent on not playin’ music for us. (She smirks)

Naomi: You never asked. (he opens up his can, a bizarre new drink neither Yui nor Alice has ever seen before)

Yui: They put out new shit this week, and I missed it? God damn, man, I should’ve asked for that!