New Eden, early afternoon one overcast Saturday. A “closed” sign hung on the front doors, and no one Yui didn’t invite could be seen in the gym. The call Yui put out for every Puella she knew of in Mitakihara spread far and wide. The Newspaper Club had been the first to arrive, aside Hanako and Seia, who were already there. Ueno had arrived together with Hanako. Yuzuki had arrived not long after, along with Alice. Yui was pacing, waiting for others. She suspected the arrival of Cecilia, Kiwako and the Birds was imminent. And with what Hanako had told her, Yui fully expected Niko to show up as well. Yui only wanted to tell the story once, but did brief every person who came in just enough to keep people calm. …Calm enough, at least.

Cecilia and Kiwako entered, with the latter releasing the hand of the former, and the twin Birds entering behind them. Cecilia and Yui exchanged a long, pointed gaze, but Yui simply nodded. Whatever needed to be resolved between the two, this wasn’t the time. Finally, fashionably late as always, Niko Segawa, entering into a familiar scene. It was as if the Balancers never truly left.

Niko: The killer is Diana Caelum! She’s two hundred years old and she’s a Balancer and she wins every fight she loses or whatever, and you shouldn’t be having nice, friendly chats with her, Arashi! Eh… Why’s everyone here?

Yui: …Can someone translate?

Hanako: You couldn’t follow that…? Em… the killer is Diana Caelum. She’s over two hundred years old, a Balancer, and her history, as viewed in the library, is… blurred. There are two accounts for every battle she participates in.

Niko: (she crosses her arms) I see you still haven’t learnt any manners, Arashi. I don’t get why that wasn’t obvious. Hanako knows what’s going on.

Yui: Look, I— (After catching a cross look from about half of the room, not least of all from Shinju, Yui clears her throat) …R-Right. Sorry. I appreciate you coming down here to tell me. But um… that’s also only a piece of the story. A big one, important as hell, but just one side of it. …Thanks.

Niko: Oh, great, you already knew. Of course you did. What am I even doing here?

Hanako: To be fair, you knew more than I did. And, um, I only told Yui what Kotori told me a few minutes ago. She told you more, I assume?

Yui: Diana herself told me her age. And um, everyone’s here because it’s gonna come to a fight.

Koharu: That’s her great plan? Rolls into town, kills a large number of innocent people to get our attention, then challenges you to a fight?

Yosuke: Does that mean all we did to find her was for nothing?

Koharu: Except we didn’t do much of anything. Catching her was far too easy. She played us.

Shinju: (She cuts in suddenly) And you’re darn lucky she did! There wouldn’t have been anything stopping her from just shooting you both with none of us around. 

Hanako: Th… that’s right. You should have had us there with you—

Yui: No. (She stares directly at Koharu) …No, you’re selling yourself short. Even if she busts out of jail and fights us, you still stopped her killing spree. And if any more of you had been there, she probably would’ve killed you all on the spot. …It had to be Koharu that stopped her. Not a lot of people can be in that position and still make the right call, even if it feels wrong. All of us here are strong as hell in our own ways. Don’t forget that, Koharu. It feels pointless right now, but… you did save lives, in the end. …Assuming we win, anyway.

Koharu: …

Yosuke: Th-thank you, Arashi.

Yui: …It’s still not satisfying though, is it, Koharu?

Koharu: … I know my place.

Yui: Not what I asked. (Despite her curt and blunt words, her tone was calm and gentle)

Koharu: It doesn’t matter. As long as you stop her.

Yui: That’s the plan.

Seia: … What’s the strategy then? Form a strike team and take her out? (She sets her cane in her lap as if she’s ready to use it in a fight) 

Yui: …Yeah. Long and short, that’s the game plan. But we got a bit of time. So I wanna make sure I got the full puzzle laid out for me before I decide anything.

Kiwako: …I don’t wanna tell the story again. Cece-chan?

Cecilia: H-Huh? But, um… well…

Yui: (Again, her voice is calm and gentle) Just tell it. Information is good here, no matter what it is. It’ll help.

Cecilia: …Well, Diana Caelum is responsible for the Balancing of Kamihama… and turning Kiwako into a Witch. …Back in 1998. 

Koharu: 1998… That date was on the coin we found.

Kiwako: … She hasn’t changed, has she?

Cecilia: It seems to be her calling card… but why? It seems so obvious…

Koharu: Implied she left the victim we found alive on purpose. Intended us to find her, and this coin. All just a game.

Yui: …

Kiwako: …Y-Yui-chan! I… I know I should’ve told you about Diana sooner! But um… well… I knew she was a Balancer, but I didn’t know for sure she was Mitakihara’s killer!

Yui: Huh? Oh, uh… that’s fine, Kiwa. 

Kiwako: …You’re not mad?

Yui: Should I be? It makes sense, right? You didn’t wanna stir up some kind of Balancer panic if it turned out to be someone else. Or even like, some kinda weird Zodiac Killer type human or something. 

Kiwako: Mmgh… (she sighs) Thanks, Yui-chan. But still, sorry…

Yuzuki: (Uncomfortably) Um… Kiwako… san… you were old enough to be a Puella in 1998?

Alice: (she mumbles) … I don’t think she’s old enough to be a Puella in 2017. 

Kiwako: I was born in 1987! I made a contract eleven years later. Then I got Balanced a year after that!

Koharu: … Then why do you act like a petulant child?

Yosuke: S-Senpai! You can’t talk to a senior like that!

Kiwako: Kiwa-chan! Not a senior…

Yui: She acts like this because mentally and emotionally, and definitely physically, we kinda stop growing after making a contract. Comes with the territory of putting our souls in stasis, keeping them in Fabergé eggs and functionally becoming liches.

Kiwako: Being a Witch for a while didn’t help, either.

Koharu: So you’re emotionally incapable of maturation when you’re a Puella Magi? (she looks at Hanako) That doesn’t make any sense. People can learn and change even after they’ve made a contract.

Yuzuki: It… probably depends on the person. I don’t look or act the same as when I made my contract when I was 16… though I expect I’m not ever gonna become an old lady, if I live that long. 

Yui: I guess emotional maturity wasn’t the right word. But mentally, she’s still 11. 

Kiwako: …The elephant in the room is, I act like this as a coping mechanism, too.

Hanako: Kiwa-chan… 

Yosuke: … Yeah, maybe we have better things to do than to litigate, eh, Kiwa-chan’s behaviour.

Yui: Sorry, eh… the background chatter was helping me think. But you’re right. …What I haven’t really told anyone ‘til now was, Diana Caelum’s been seeking me out in places all week to talk. She’s been playing me, too. Leading me down her history with breadcrumbs until I figured out she was a Balancer. Was, is, who fuckin’ knows. …But now I got a clearer picture. 

Seia: Mm, she was looking for you from the first time she came by the gym. Is it just because you’re the leader around here? 

Yui: I have no idea what brought her into New Eden a week or so ago. Maybe she caught wind of what our purpose here is, maybe it was coincidence, I have no idea. But after we fought the first time, she took an interest in me. I “sparked something” in her. It’s probably how I’m still alive. Same with Koharu. 

Seia: And me, do you think? She never attacked me… 

Yui: Possibly. Her definition of “interesting” aligns in a fucked up way with how I see people. Overcomin’ the hand you’re dealt, that impresses me more than raw strength. It’s probably the same for her. …Fuck me, I hate that I’m even thinking like this. The bitch is a killer, she’s killed dozens of people and wants to Balance Mitakihara, just like those clowns half a year ago, god damn it!

Niko: So… If you’re “interesting” you get to survive?

Koharu: Kyubey doesn’t make that kind of distinction.

Shinju: You’re saying she’s who Kyubey picked to follow up those psychos? Here by herself? 

Koharu: … She’s not working on its behalf, is what you’re saying? Interesting…

Kiwako: She used to talk about something when she was acting as High Priestess Caelum…

Hanako: R-Right… if she Balanced Kamihama and turned you into a Witch, why didn’t she kill you?

Kiwako: My wish, probably.

Rio: Wait, then… that theory Kotori had before we left for Kamihama, do you think…?

Riko: That Kyubey isn’t the only one?

Yui: We’re getting off track, fuck… lemme think.

Niko: Makes sense, though… Those “Pale Wardens” I saw when we made the Library… There were a bunch of them. The way they talked, I think they, eh, became whatever Kyubey is.

Shinju: I doubt he managed the whole planet by himself, so… (She turns to Yui) Did she say she was working for Kyubey? 

Yui: …Not the entire time. So it’s likely that Diana was working with a separate Incubator, beyond the Kyubey we all know. Lines up with what Niko saw when y’all made the Library, right? But she seemed to imply that before she “quit” in 1919, she was working with Kyubey again. And under Kyubey, she got the callsign “Divider”.

Shinju: Ugh, not more of these edgy names… can we stick to her real name? 

Yui: I planned on it. But like… fuck, I was getting somewhere, but I lost it. Shit, I can’t really focus right now. …Point is, she was stalking me, meeting me in secret to tell me her story, then told me that in about twenty or so hours, she’s gonna be waiting in an empty lot for me to come fight her. She’s not a Malefica, nor does she have her Magia. But she is a Balancer, and… every single time she and I talked, I swear I felt some kind of power at work. But I still don’t know what it is, exactly…

Niko: Well, there is the whole blur thing. Tori said that there’s always, like, two versions of her going ‘round.

Shinju: (She leans in, serious) How do we beat her if she just redoes every fight if she doesn’t win? 

Koharu: That’s just a hypothesis. If she had that power, she would have just redone the “competition” I had with her until she… “won”.

Hanako: Wait… so more than her fights are “blurred”? Like her conversations with Yui…?

Niko: Yeah. It’s all, like, this or that. Every time it’s like all the different options are there. The ones she picked and the ones she didn’t.

Hanako: Then… she was using her power while talking to Yui…

Yui: Heh. …Well played, Divider. I don’t know how it works exactly, but I think I have enough to go on now.

Niko: So fighting her’s like one of those video games where you have to choose what to say and the story changes or something? Akarin had one of those. She always turned her video game thingy off and on again when she didn’t like what happened next, so she could pick the other option.

Shinju: So we just gotta make sure that all the options are bad?

Koharu: That is statistically impossible.

Yui: Yeah. Koharu’s right. But… we have to try and somehow stack the odds against her. Force the coin to land on its side.

Koharu: The coin already lands on its side. That’s why there is neither heads nor tails, and how she gets to decide what face she pushes it onto. We want to weigh the coin so it lands on tails if she wants heads, or the other way around.

Yosuke: Senpai…

Yui: Yeah… and the best way to do that is if I don’t go in alone. Which, uh, I’m pretty sure no one here would’ve let me do that in the first place. It’s just a matter of how much can Diana force her luck when she’s fighting a bunch of us at once? But also, if she’s playing a game, I want some people to stay here, just in case. …Especially if I can’t beat her.

Alice: (she looks at Koharu, Yosuke and Niko) We should really buy some board games.

Seia: Who will be on the home team and the strike team then? 

Yui: I’m open for volunteers on either side. I know who I want comin’ with me, at least. But this is very much open for discussion. I’m still not a leader.

Shinju: (She raises her hand) I should come on the strike team. Kohaku is in position by the prison to try to prevent a whole bunch of casualties when she, y’know, busts out like we know she’s gonna. That’s why she’s not here right now, by the way. 

Yui: If she’s gonna do that, I hope she’s careful not to get caught up in one of Diana’s games. But I was hoping you’d come along on the strike team, for uh, obvious reasons. Seia? What about you?

Seia: Y-you’re asking me? Mm… (She shrugs) Unfortunately, I can’t tell if I have a gun pointed at me. And it’s best for me to be in an environment where I know where everything is. Like here. 

Kiwako: To be fair, none of us are gonna know if we have a gun pointed at us, either.

Yui: …All that aside, no harm, then. Seia can stay and help guard the gym. Probably for the best, given how your power works. Better suited for defense, than offense. …Even if I still can’t land a punch. Speaking of defense… Yuzu, what’cha feelin’ here?

Yuzuki: (She flinches at being called on) Um… I can block a bullet no problem, but… well, I have my vacuum bubble, but… knowing you, you probably want to finish this without killing her, right…? 

Yui: …Ideally. So if you wanna stay here, I won’t blame you.

Shinju: Not killing her? How’s that gonna work? You just gonna tell her to get out of town when we win? 

Yui: I’m not that naive. She seems to respect the rules of her games. If I win, she’ll honor it. If you wanna know how I know that, just ask Koharu. 

Shinju: (She sighs) Just counting on her to stick to her little games, huh… 

Yui: If she planned on breaking her own rules, she would have by now. If she were the cheating type, she never would’ve let Koharu walk away.

Koharu: Losing was part of her plan. I’m sure of it.

Yui: Maybe. But it establishes a pattern. It lines up with her leading me down this path. Her goal was to fight me after learning the truth. If she wanted us dead, she wouldn’t have dragged us this far. …The fact that her stated goal is to Balance Mitakihara is probably bullshit, too. I still can’t figure out her endgame, though… like all of this, is it really to keep her life interesting? To keep from becoming a Ghost…? 

Yosuke: If my… experience with other Balancers is any indication, you’d be surprised at how stuck people can get in their patterns. Maybe this woman just murders people because that’s all she knows.

Yui: She even said something to that effect, back at The Smile…

Shinju: That’s ridiculous. Killing people isn’t like biting your nails or something. It’s not something you just do. 

Yui: Well yeah, and I’m gonna beat the shit out of her for it. But I don’t kill people. It’s just not who I am.

Shinju: So who’s coming for this besides me and Yui? 

Kiwako: (Instantly) Me.

Hanako: Ki… Kiwa-chan?!

Kiwako: I’m going. Yui-chan… you know why.

Yui: (After a moment of hesitation, Yui nods) …Okay. Kiwa’s in.

Hanako: …I-I’m going too.

Yui: …Alright. …Libretto, you in?

Cecilia: …I… I think I am better suited here. 

Yui: So then, me, Shinju, Kiwa and Hanako, we’re on the attack team. Seia, Yuzu, Ueno, Cecilia, Kohaku probably once the jail’s all busted out, home team. …What about the Birds?

Rio & Riko: (Simultaneously) Reconnaissance.

Yui: Right. Dunno what else I expected. 

Riko: More accurately, a line of communication between the empty lot and New Eden.

Rio: We can relay any information to Cecilia, or anyone else here that wants to stay informed telepathically.

Yui: That’s more reassuring. …Anyone who’s here in the know but can’t fight is welcome to stay here in New Eden. Public facing story is, the gym’s closed for cleaning for a couple days. We have almost a full day, if someone wants to like… I dunno, get a video game console or some books or board games or whatever. …Aoi might appreciate something to do when we’re not healing people here anyway. It’s likely that Diana just wants a real fight, and the story of her wanting to Balance Mitakihara is bullshit. But we have to operate under the assumption she’s speaking at face value. …Anyone who’s trained under me knows by now that this is what I’ve been prepping for all year so far. Now we see if it’s paid off. …Any questions?

Seia: … What happens if you all don’t win the fight out there? Will we know? 

Riko: …You will know.

Rio: That is our role. If something goes wrong… we will let you know.

Yui: …Anything else?

Hanako: How do you… place our odds of victory?

Yui: Heh… you’re gonna smack me.

Hanako: …

Yui: We’ll either win, or we won’t. Now, gather ‘round, away team. I actually got a plan for the first time in my life.