In the wake of its surprising ascension to local fame, Mitakihara High School’s Newspaper Club has been in the process of moving to a different, larger clubroom to accommodate its many new members. As usual, the club’s president was none too happy to hear this, but even Koharu now has to admit that their new haunt — outfitted with wider desks, desktop computers and, perhaps most importantly, a larger window to gaze out of — is an improvement. 

Furthermore, Sakurauchi had kept her word and arranged for a small office space adjacent to the clubroom to be refitted into a boardroom, separated from the main newsroom by a set of glass sliding doors. This is where the school newspaper’s board of editors — the inner circle, so to say — could discuss matters related to the club’s actual goal, cut off from the prying ears of unsuspecting freshmen dedicating their precious time to publishing interviews with the school mascot. It’s a decent enough compromise. For now.

While Koharu is squinting at her new computer screen, making sure its layout is the exact same as the single desktop the old clubroom used to have, the club’s instructor approaches with a stack of papers, her thoughts impossible to read as usual.

Yuna: Seventeen new hires. Even some second-years. I’m proud of you.

Yosuke: (standing behind Koharu, to help her out, he can’t help but react in surprise) Seventeen? Wait, how did that happen all of a sudden?

Yuna: The recruitment drive was a bit of a false start, but hey, turns out all you needed was a little more good press. Lots of your students seem to wanna work alongside “Ace Detective April” now.

Koharu: … Hope they’re ready to be sorely disappointed.

Yuna: Having a positive reputation is taking some getting used to, I see.

Koharu: Don’t deserve it. Didn’t catch that killer. She wanted to be caught.

Yuna: … So you are “Ace Detective April”, then?

Koharu: No point in hiding it.

Yosuke: From her, you mean… right? From anyone else? You gotta. You gotta keep those lips sealed.

Koharu: (she shrugs) Any reason not to have to talk to them.

Yuna: What did we talk about regarding respecting your juniors again? (she sighs) Good gosh, where’s Hayama when you need her? (she puts the application forms on Koharu’s desk) Sign these, okay? Student admin’d like to have them a.s.a.p.

Koharu: (unenthusiastically) Sure.

Yuna: Do try to get to know your new clubmates, okay? I understand it’s important that you guys get to discuss, y’know, the other stuff in private, but… I mean, you’re gonna have to pass the torch to someone at the end of the year, right?

Koharu: (she looks at Sakurauchi briefly, before turning her gaze to the floor) I’ve… never thought of that. Is it really—

Yuna: I think having this Newspaper Club is a huge boon to our school, so… I’d like it to continue existing even when you’re no longer a student here.

Koharu: … Why? I’ll be out of your hair.

Yuna: If you think this club still only exists to keep you on a leash, you’re probably not as smart as everyone thinks you are. You should be proud of the things you’ve achieved… (with a wave, she takes her leave, ignoring Koharu’s venomous glare)

Koharu: What does that mean?

Yosuke: (he clears his throat, leafing through the application sheets) Ehm, senpai?

Koharu: What does that even mean?

Yosuke: (he waves the sheets in front of her face) Koharu? The forms? If you sign them, I’ll take them to student admin.

Koharu: Gimme. (she takes the sheets from him and with a nearby pen, signs them all by simply scribbling her name at the bottom of every sheet, effortlessly executing the kanji like a practiced calligrapher)

Yosuke: (he whistles) Dang. (he bows) Worry not, milady shogun. I shall see your decree delivered to every corner of the country quicker than a heron can snatch its prey from the waters. (he holds out his hand, as if to formally receive Koharu’s “decree”)

Koharu: (rather than handing over the sheets, however, she goes through them again) Wait.

Yosuke: Yes, milad—(he clears his throat) Hmm? What’s up?

Koharu: Nosey girl. Doesn’t have a filter. What’s her name?

Yosuke: … Kettle, you mean?

Koharu: … What kind of name is—

Yosuke: Her name is “Kettle”, and you’re “Pot”.

Koharu: (she stares at Yosuke, nonplussed) … Is this a joke I don’t get?

Yosuke: (he flushes) E-Eh… Forget about it.

Koharu: (she softens her tone) I mean the white-haired girl. The weird one. What was her name again?

Yosuke: Oh, her? Mitsunaga. Sara Mitsunaga, yes. (he mumbles to himself) God damnit, why do I have to say it like she does, too?

Koharu: (she goes through the papers again) … Where’s her application sheet? If there’s anyone who wanted to join the club, it’s—

Yosuke: Mitsunaga’s? Senpai, Mitsunaga has been in the club for months, right? Why would she have to apply?

Koharu: How can she’ve been here for months? She’s a freshman.

Yosuke: She’s been a board member since, like, at least when schools opened up again, remember? The whole business with her cousin who—

Koharu: No, she came up to us during that stupid club fair thing. That’s when she started asking to join.

Yosuke: You… weren’t even there for the club fair, remember? You ditched, didn’t you?

Koharu: I… (she blinks a few times) Yeah, I did. I suppose—

Sara: Pshew! (she bolts in, tossing her bag in a corner and dropping into her chair, swivelling around in it a few times) Hiya, fellow conspirators. What kinds of conniving are we getting up to on this fine afternoon?

Yosuke: C-Conniving? We certainly weren’t doing anything of the sort!

Sara: You bet your butt you weren’t. Wouldn’t wanna do any scheming behind our precious juniors’ backs—

Yosuke: — aren’t you a junior? —

Sara: — without our very own Conductor here, no? Ah! (she jumps out of her chair as she sees someone approaching the glass door) What light through yonder window breaks? ‘Tis Sasaki-senpai, the most conductable of Conductors!

Hanako: (She enters cautiously after looking around the main, public room, as if afraid to let any sound out of the office, only to linger on the last word, flinching a bit as she closes the door behind her) I… there’s more to me than my Conductor side, Sara-chan. I must have said this a dozen times by now…

Sara: But you are a Conductor, no? And out of all of them you certainly know how to conduct yourself best.

Hanako: …If anyone else had said that, I would assume it to be a cruel joke. (With a sigh, she sits down and pulls a plushie from her bag) …Shinju and Seia will be along any minute.

Koharu: … Everything okay? You sound tired.

Hanako: (She flashes Koharu a knowing look) …I had a bad dream, while I had fainted during the fencing club meeting yesterday.

Koharu: You fainted?

Hanako: Overexertion during training. (She makes sure the door to their boardroom is closed before continuing) …That’s what Cecilia told me the story was, at least.

Koharu: She can’t just do that. Overexertion is serious.

Hanako: I needed a cover story for my lack of awareness, apparently. I’ve shown too much progress too swiftly, and it risked exposure. (She turns as she hears the door start to open, only to relax when Shinju and Seia enter the room)

Seia: (She walks in, holding onto Shinju’s arm) Hello, pumpkins. Any new members in here I should know about? 

Shinju: Looks like just us old heads right now.

Hanako: Mm, just us old guard. Mercifully, it seems that despite the rapid expansion of the club, no one on the “outside” was forced into our inner circle.

Koharu: No one’s officially joining until these forms make it to student admin.

Yosuke: Oh, right! (he picks up the papers from Koharu’s desk) Let’s have that taken care of.

Hanako: …Since everyone’s here now, I may as well recount what happened. During fencing club yesterday, I collapsed from exhaustion. That’s… the public story, at least. It shouldn’t linger on the school’s gossip hivemind. But the truth is, I was summoned into the Dreamscape by Cecilia Ambrosi, apparently through a mechanism unique to Puellae Malefica. According to her, Yui is not aware of this. But she wanted to take my measure… as a Conductor, specifically. We did not fight, thankfully, though she seemed to expect it. But she also told me I need to temper my physical prowess, lest I draw suspicion about… well, magic. …I think I “passed” her interview, though.

Koharu: But the world still thinks you collapsed. And you’re going to have to deal with it. Did she even stop to consider that before she pulled you in?

Sara: (she crosses her arms, showing genuine concern) Yeah… What if you were on your bike, or crossing the road or something?

Shinju: … Since it’s Cecilia, she probably watched and checked before she did it. Not like when that used to happen to me ‘cause Kohaku was using her power. I fell down a flight of stairs near the beach. Still, not more Conductor stuff, man, geeze… don’t those old men know when to quit? 

Hanako: It isn’t hard to ascertain my schedule. During that timeframe, I’m either at school or home. She would know with how busy I am that the odds of being in a club are high, and since our activities align frequently with theirs, it wouldn’t be hard to guess that I was in my other club.

Sara: Old men? Hmm. The vibes are off, chief. My instincts were telling me they were all handsome bad boys. Dateable in a visual novel setting, perhaps. Yes. You don’t happen to have, like, a wiki with all the lore, do you?

Hanako: Yui does, but—

Koharu: Forget it. I don’t need to learn anything more about them. If it were up to me, we’d be better off without the Conductors. But if Hanako thinks they can still serve a purpose, I’ll trust her.

Hanako: After the Balancers’ attack, there’s no harm in collaboration. And, if they were ever up to anything… unsavory, I would be in the know. There’s value in that much, at least, I should hope.

Seia: (Making her way through the room very slowly, aware the furniture layout changes frequently while they’re moving in) It seems like Conductors-san has learned their lesson from their past, um, skullduggery and so forth. I think we can give the good ones their fair chance. 

Hanako: It helps that most of the old guard are dead.

Yosuke: (he walks back in) Sheets delivered. Wait, who’s dead?

Sara: Lotsa people. Yes.

Koharu: Thanks, in any case.

Hanako: I… initially thought Cecilia wanted to chastise me, for… inadvertently helping that Melati woman with her investigation…

Yosuke: Right. Her. Uhm. I overheard some people talking about her. I mean, I’m gonna assume it’s her. Lots of people have spotted her snooping around town.

Koharu: Stands out, that’s a fact.

Shinju: What, Miss Nya-nyaa? (she scoffs) 

Sara: (she almost bursts out laughing)

Hanako: (She can’t help but giggle a bit before her expression returns to the serious state in which it rests) …Melati Nyaua, that so-called “Senior Balancer” going around and gathering information to “hold Kyubey to account” or something like that. …She’s good at her job, at any rate. She managed to get something out of me.

Yosuke: Maybe we could learn a thing or two from her, then.

Koharu: Not happening.

Hanako: …She’s already learned a thing or two from me, as it is. I can’t believe I’m still so easy to… to “play” like this…

Shinju: Uh, what did you tell her? I can’t see you saying anything that important to her. 

Hanako: Well… mostly about what happened with Moonlover. But I ended up telling her basically everything about those encounters…

Yosuke: Are you afraid she’s trying to get an idea of how you guys fight, or something?

Koharu: No. Probably curious about the train derailment.

Hanako: That’s how she phrased her questions, yes…

Koharu: (she sighs) Really sounds like she’s just doing what she says she’s doing. Making a case against the weasel.

Sara: Prosecutors can’t lie. Otherwise they’d have to prosecute themselves, yes.

Koharu: Just don’t get why she’d— What’s in it for her?

Shinju: She said she works for another Incubator, right? Maybe they’re fighting. 

Hanako: Infighting amongst Incubators…? Perhaps we could use this to our advantage, somehow? Not just as a Conductor, but… as a Puella, I can’t help but view Kyubey as my true enemy.

Shinju: Even if there’s another Incubator, they’re still doing the same job as Kyubey. Getting people to make a contract just to go Witch later. Not a lot of “honest” or “good” ways to do that job. 

Yosuke: I mean… That’s what I told her, but she pretty much ignored me.

Hanako: I’ll… have to tell Yui all this at some point. Hopefully it is as everyone else seems to be indicating, and that my transgression wasn’t… egregious or anything. 

Shinju: You worry about this stuff too much all the time… s’not like we have super secrets for decades like they do or the Conductors do. 

Hanako: Th… thank you, Shinju.

Koharu: Not even secrets. Public information.

Yuna: (she pokes her head back into the meeting room) Ah. Shirahara. Apologies. I forgot one of the sheets. Looks like Sugimoto forgot to collect them in his class, so it’s eighteen new hires, actually. Can you sign this for me, please? (she holds out a sheet for Koharu to sign) I see everyone is here. (she turns to Hanako) I wouldn’t be too concerned, Miss Sasaki. In all likeliness, Miss Nyaua already knew everything you told her, and she was only looking for confirmation.

Hanako: I… yes, that is very likely. Even if she knew what happened, a first-hand account is still invaluable.

Seia: I guess she’s collecting testimony, hm. Maybe they have courts on Planet Incubator as well. 

Yuna: Anisa did mention something about an Incubator recently having been sentenced to death.

Hanako: Y… Yes. From what I recall, it was something about… misusing a conduit?

Koharu: Doesn’t seem relevant to our problems.

Yosuke: I dunno… Er, what the heck is a conduit, even? Do we know that?

Sara: It’s that little thingamajig Mister Kyubes—

Yosuke: — we’re not calling him that! —

Sara: — uses to look the way he does in our eyes. Think of it as like, he’s not actually here and he doesn’t actually look like that. The kitty form is more like a suit he’s piloting from far away. Like in that movie with the blue people! Or, like how your character in Runic Realms can be a swole wolf dude with heterochromia and a seven-foot sword when you’re just a plain Jane i-r-l.

Yuna: … I beg your pardon?

Sara: Or a catgirl!

Koharu: How do you know any of that?

Sara: Ehm… Niko-senpai told us, didn’t she? It was in the Library and stuff.

Hanako: S-Sara-chan, I know I spend a lot of free time playing Empire Souls with Ueno-chan, but… I-I think you play those games too much…

Koharu: … 

Yosuke: Penny for your thoughts?

Koharu: You think an Incubator could use a conduit like that to appear… human?

Shinju: Yui says she’s killed that little cat body a hundred times and he can just make a new one. Unless it’s, like, hard-coded to only produce weird little halo cats, I don’t see why not. (She shudders) Ugh. Good thing he doesn’t. I hope. He could seriously mess with us by imitating people. 

Yuna: Anisa… mentioned something about a conduit like that. Eh… Apparently we found one… as children.