It is obvious why Kiyoshi Tanemura is such a great drummer. The man basically lives in a rehearsal space. His basement apartment can give garages a run for their money, adorned with furniture improvised from old tyres, rusty barrels and recycled wooden palettes, tacky posters of bikini-clad women advertising beer and bands even Alice has never heard of on the walls and empty pizza boxes as far as the eye can see.

Everything about this guy screams sketchy, but Alice still feels at ease around him. He lives in a dump, but he’s not ashamed to admit it, and he seems to be making a conscious effort to get to know his bandmates better, having invited them with the promise of drinks, snacks and video games. The snacks turned out to have existed mostly in theory and one of the controllers of the console — a yellowed grey brick that looked older than he was — gave up the ghost three minutes into their first match, but still, one out of three isn’t bad. They have a surprising lot to talk about over beers alone. As the host digs two more bottles out of a mini-fridge doubling as a record shelf, Alice reclines on the couch, rearranging some of the battered pillows.

Alice: Dude, seriously? (she pulls out a pink bra from between the pillows)

Kiyoshi: Damn. Roommate of mine’s been lookin’ for that for ages. Maybe you girls have a nose for that kinda stuff.

Alice: Well, my delicate, feminine nose can tell you that thing’s been in there for decades.

Kiyoshi: Some nightly encounters that stay with you for a lifetime, eh? You can keep it if you wanna. A present for the missus, maybe?

Alice: In your dreams. (she tosses the piece of underwear over her shoulder as Kiyoshi plops down next to her, handing her a beer)

Kiyoshi: What’s keeping her, by the way? I invited both of you.

Alice: Corporate espionage. TAKTIKS are playing The Smile tonight, and we’re facing off against them in the Battle of the Bands, so she wanted to get a feel for them. You were invited too, remember?

Kiyoshi: I dunno, man, those Nagoya suckers’ve been at it for years and they still haven’t been signed (he scoffs) Sometimes you just gotta know when to quit, man. I got better things to do. (he holds up his bottle) Like beer.

Alice: They have beer at The Smile, too.

Kiyoshi: Eh, that place isn’t really my vibe, you know. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll gladly be on stage with you guys, but off the stage? I ain’t no bougie college kid. 

Alice: Except you hung out at The Bends all the time.

Kiyoshi: That’s because Shiori was there, man. I couldn’t leave her alone, I mean… You know what happened to her after I skipped town.

Alice: Why did you even leave—

Kiyoshi: (he sighs) Bad breakups, man. I mean, consider yourself lucky you’re not into dudes. We’re trash, the lot of us. We break your hearts and… I dunno, next time we see each other, you smile at me like nothing happened. Like I didn’t ruin your life.

Alice: I’m… not sure I follow, is this about—

Kiyoshi groans in frustration. Not towards Alice, but towards himself. This was the plan. To let others in. But doing so sure hurts like a bitch.

Kiyoshi: You don’t know Midori and I used to be a thing, right?

Alice: … Wait, seriously? She… never told me about you. I mean, she talks about her exes all the time, but… She generally doesn’t mention them by name.

Kiyoshi: Exes, huh? Plural.

Alice: I mean… You start racking them up quite quickly if your relationships last a week on average.

Kiyoshi: (he scoffs) Or if you’re still in love with someone else… I met her at The Bends when she was sixteen. She wasn’t even allowed to be there. She’d snuck in to see some shitty band I was in before I met Shiori. We dated for way too long. I was too much of a fuckin’ horny dumbass to realize how wrong it was. Didn’t even think to question why she never told her family about us. I took advantage of her, and I—

Alice: Did Shiori know about this?

Kiyoshi: Of course she did. She’s my best friend. Heck, she enabled me. The more fucked up things got between me an’ Midori, the more Shiori relished in it. We made each other worse. Only cared about bein’ as punk as we could be. Fuck what society says, we know what true love looks like, that kinda sleazy fuckin’ shit. Took me way too long to realize that it wasn’t Shiori bein’ a bad influence on me, I was the one who should’ve taught her to be better. I was hurtin’ people. Nothing more than a shitty abuser to Midori, and a terrible example to Shiori. I was the only person there for her, the only person she could look up to. (he takes a swig off his drink) No wonder she ended up a fuckin’ psycho.

Alice: … Is that why you left Mitakihara? Is that why you don’t wanna be at The Smile? Because—

Kiyoshi: ‘Cause I couldn’t look Midori in the eyes anymore. Still can’t, unless I’ve got a dozen beers in me. I skipped town because I told her I was tradin’ her in for Shiori and didn’t wanna deal with the consequences.

Alice: Shiori… didn’t exactly take you abandoning her well.

Kiyoshi: I threw her in the pit I’d dug myself into, just to get out of it.

Alice: Geez, man…

Kiyoshi: I… needed to come clean to someone about this. That’s why I came back. That’s why I joined your band. Because I have to make amends for what I did. And since I can’t apologize to Shiori anymore, can’t save her, can’t be there for her any more, the fucking least I can do is continue doing what she loved most of all… Makin’ music and pushin’ you guys all the way to the top. That’s what she would’ve wanted.

Alice: That’s admirable… and I appreciate it, but… There is someone you can still apologize to, Kiyoshi. You still broke her heart, even if it was the right thing to do… I mean, the right thing to do would have been to never date her at all, but—

Kiyoshi: I know… I know, but—I… can’t be this vulnerable around her. Not when… she acts as if nothing happened between us.

Alice: (she shakes her head) … That’s because she’s still hurting, man. You gotta face the consequences of your actions. That’s what you’re here for, right?

Kiyoshi: (he sighs) You’re not wrong, Rinju… You’re not wrong.