Niko: Ghh… Fuck…

There is darkness all around Niko when she opens her eyes. It takes her a few seconds to realize she’s even awake. She is lying on her belly, making it hard to breathe, and when she tries to roll over, she notices it’s harder than it should be. A thin wire — or a zip tie? — is digging into her wrists. She can’t feel anything around her legs, but she can’t move them either, so she’s assuming the worst. She’s in the waking realm. This is not where she wants to be.

Niko: Oh God, no… Oh fuck… Shinju? … Shinju?!

Shinju’s voice comes from behind her, sounding dry, like she hasn’t had a drink of water in a while.

Shinju: Hey, bunny. Are you feeling okay? Sorry about all this… 

Niko: (she gasps, wriggling to turn  around even though she can’t see anything) Y-You’re here! This… This isn’t your fault. I dunno, I— (she gasps again as a spotlight flashes on a few feet away from her)

???: (The spotlight shows a small, slender male figure standing with arms outspread.) Correct. It’s my fault. So sorry. (Stepping forward, this time without a mask covering his face, Luca approaches the pair, kneeling down in front of Niko, a smug smile lighting his face) Luca Giordano, in case you forgot. This time, in person. I do not make such appearances often, Niko Segawa, so I would treasure this uncommon moment while you still can.

Niko: What the fuck do you want man? The Troubadour chose me! Me! He told me so himself!

Luca: Did he, now? Told you that himself, did he? But what good is such a title inherited like this compared to the erede apparente himself, eh? An imposter like yourself has no rightful claim, not to what is mine by right. (He stands, turning away from Niko with his arms outstretched once more) But as I said, this is business, and not my personal pleasure. Such ceremony calls for the curtains to be drawn, no? To reveal the full cast of players upon our stage. To illustrate our grand design. To fulfill our purpose! <Ah, luci, per favore>.

On Luca’s command, a wide variety of bright spotlights turn on, revealing that Niko and Shinju are, in fact, literally, on a stage — just as the mysterious young man wasn’t using metaphor when talking about his “cast” either. Still unconscious, five others have been similarly tied up on stage: Koharu, Yosuke, Hotaru, Mei, and most surprisingly, Yui.

Niko: What the— Let them go! They’ve got nothing to do with this!

Luca: Ah, but they do! They have everything to do with this! Or… (Luca feigns a dramatic gasp) …were you truly naive enough to believe that these incidents were all isolated after all? You knew of my influence over the Dreamscape, Niko, this is true. This involved you directly, of course. But the untimely death of your dear companion… ah, what was her name again? It translated to <futuro> if I recall. <Luci, luci!> 

Another light turns on, this one pointed to the back of the room, illuminating the figure of a young woman, idly scrolling through her phone. She does not flinch when the light comes on, nor does she acknowledge the speaker on stage.

Luca: (In Chinese) <I do hope you play along one day, Punisher. This play would be brilliant with your contribution.> …Or perhaps that video you all must have seen by now? The acquisition of this venue would not be possible without our newest member! <Luci!> Come! Take your bow, Firestarter!

Another light, this time near the front of the stage, flashes on. However, whatever it was supposed to illuminate, isn’t there, as the beam of light shines down on nothing but the stage’s worn out floor.

Niko: (she raises her head at Luca, scoffing) What a surprise! I guess “Firestarter” had better things to do than show up to your lame-ass party, you spaghetti-eating frea—(before Niko can finish her taunt, a mechanical leg pushes her head back down, pressing it against the floor as she groans)

???: <Whack-a-mole! Luke’s parties are great!> (the raggedy girl smirks as she gets ready to stomp on Niko’s head once more, before being body-slammed from behind, knocking her off balance) …!

Yosuke: (the shock from the slam causes him to fall backwards, kicking up his legs — they are untied, which is likely what allowed him to stand up and attack the scarecrow) Ngh!

Luca: (Luca watches the scene, both his intended actor not appearing, and the interference from the attacker.) My word. Amateur… Though, I must give you a commendation for the effort. See now what it earns you, boy.

???: (the girl regains her footing, and with Yosuke now on his back, she doesn’t hesitate to raise her leg, ready to bring it down onto his head) <Chouette alors! He’s even arranged for a piñata!>

Shiori: <Back the fuck off, Moonlover. Now.>

From the other side of the room, Shiori’s voice rings out, before the lights in the entire venue are switched on, revealing her standing at the light switch near the entrance, holding a cheap plastic bag in one hand, an on the opposite shoulder sitting a familiar creature, gazing up at the stage with its red, beady eyes. Moonlover initially seems unimpressed, but seeing Kyubey on Shiori’s shoulder does make her refrain from killing Yosuke and she lowers her leg.

Luca: (Luca turns to face Shiori and Kyubey, giving a warm little smile and a deep bow, as if they were his audience) Ah, there is my Firestarter, and our illustrious sponsor. Come, come! The stage is set, <signore>, now come, and enlighten this ragtag cast of misfits!

Kyubey: Don’t get too excited now, Worldeater! (its usual cheery affection quickly turns into a more serious tone of voice as it casts its gaze towards Yui, still unconscious in a corner of the stage) I need her to hear it.

Shiori: Seconded. Oi! (she holds up the plastic bag, offering to toss it over to Punisher, who looks up from her phone with a glare)

Punisher: <We should just kill them.>

Shiori: (she lowers her arm again, shrugging) Guessing she just called me something nasty in Chinese? (she lifts the bag up to her face, only for her eyebrows to rise when she realizes it’s a Chinese takeout bag) Just my fucking luck…

Luca: No, no, nothing so pedestrian. Punisher is merely the pragmatic one of the group, that’s all. Pragmatic, also known as goddamn boring… 

Kyubey: She’s just getting impatient. <Wake them up, Moonlover.>

Moonlover: <With pleasure!> (with her arms spread wide, she darts over to Hotaru and Mei, kicking both of them in the stomach to wake them up)

Hotaru: …! (she winces in pain, coughing a couple of times)

Mei: (Mei’s eyes snap open, a few drops of blood mixed with her coughing) Son of a—!

Niko: S-Stop this! What the hell do you even want from us?!

Luca: Our host, Kyubey, can elaborate better than I ever could. (Luca kneels down in front of Niko again, flashing a sinister grin) But what kind of master villain would I be, if I did not at least gloat about our plan first? Hm? Worldeater. Punisher. Firestarter. Moonlover. All callsigns for the Incubator’s elite cleaning crew. (He rises again, making his way to center stage and looking out at the “audience”, turning again to face the group on stage. Grabbing what looks like a prop rock, he tosses it at Yui’s head, and she starts to rouse) We are The Balancers. Here to correct a grievous error brought about by twisted, selfish human desire. You lot have corrupted Kyubey’s wonderful, miraculous gift, and now it is time for us to make things right again.

Yui: Guh… (Her eyes flutter open, and she looks around the stage in a daze) …Balancers…?

Lithe like a cat, Kyubey drops down from his perch on Shiori’s shoulder. He patters into the center of the scene, not caring if a light is on him. He stands out in the darkness, as if glowing slightly. 

Kyubey: Yes, well, hello again everyone. It’s been quite a while for some of you! And I must say… I’m disappointed in the whole Mitakihara project. I don’t think even you all can say things haven’t been a little out of control recently! It wouldn’t be the first time a war or a major disaster has happened because of someone’s wish… but stuffing the city full of over twenty Puellae and running a clinic to keep all of them healed? How is anyone to become energy for the sake of the universe now?

Luca: It is as Kyubey said. The only solution left to us in order to keep this all on track is to balance things out directly. This is why this city has been plunged into a nightmare. This is why law and order have been done away with. And it is now why you must all be erased. To maintain the secret of Puella Magi, and to continue to gather energy needed to combat universal entropy. Now do you all understand?

Shinju: What? How is that supposed to be “balance?” That’s not balance, that’s just you freaks running the place! 

Luca: Running the place? No, no. We’re reducing this place to ash, and letting humanity rebuild it. Once our work is finished, we will have no need for Mitakihara, and we shall move onto the next region that has let things get out of hand like this. Kyubey’s machinations can begin again, fresh, and without anyone to ruin the show.

Hotaru: Become energy…? E-Entropy? What the hell are they talking about…?

Kyubey: Well, I don’t think we have time for a physics class right now. But, you should know that the purpose of a Puella Magi is to become a Witch, and when they do, for that energy they release to keep our universe going… just a little longer. As long as someone like Aoi Hikarizaka is around, and people who enable her… (Kyubey pointedly turns his head towards Yui) You all can’t fulfill your purpose! 

Hotaru: P-Purpose…?

Yui: Heh… you act like that’s… our problem. We live under a hundred years on average. Our sun ain’t gonna last long in the cosmic scheme of things, either. Heat death of the universe’s gonna hit after… thousands of “humanity” types come and go. Damn straight… we’re gonna fight this bullshit scheme of yours. (She shakily raises her head to stare back at Kyubey) …That was their goal then. And it’s… mine, now. You really think a few dozen millennia’s worth of human grief is enough to combat millions of years’ worth of entropy? Whatever y’all came from… y’all are fuckin’ stupid as shit.

Kyubey: My, I wouldn’t have guessed from your social media that you’d be so irresponsible! You want to be like your elderly politicians, who live high on oil money because they know they’ll be dead before the climate changes? Yes, I project you and your kind will be extinct long before heat death… is that really an excuse to shrug it off and leave it for the future? 

Yui: The fuck should I… give my life for some… some alien races that don’t give a shit about us? We’re livin’ beings, not your fuckin’… batteries. I value my life now, not some hypothetical cosmic bastards millions of years from now. …An’ quit snoopin’ on my social media, Genie Cat. S’creepy. (She nudges her head towards Shiori) You… you really buy into this shit? C’mon… I’d have thought you, of all people, would think this is all bullshit.

Shiori: Bullshit? Of course it is. It’s all bullshit. Everything. I told you, didn’t I? I see people like you, and your bitch sister, and your craven, limp-dicked father and his hollowed out husk of a bodyguard bending over backwards to stay in control. To keep the beast inside in its fleshy little cage. To live yet another day of abject fucking misery. And for what? For people to remember you? No one will, because in the end, they’ll all be dead, too. You’re all so addicted to life, it makes you desperate. You crave control, only because you’re terrified of losing it. Life is holding you hostage. It’s a gilded fucking cage. Consequences be damned, my ass, you lot are damned by consequences. You drag yourselves through shit in the hope of salvation. Of some kind of afterlife. (she scoffs) Afterlife. Even in death, you won’t shit the fuck up about living. What’s so great about living, huh? What’s the fucking point if you can’t do what you want? If you can’t be who you are? Why the fuck would you want any of this?

Niko: Then why don’t you just shut up and die if that’s what you want? Can’t you let us do what we want and live—

Shiori: Shut your fucking mouth. (she glares at Niko, who immediately complies as if having the plug pulled on her) Kyubey offers us a way out. A chance to die on our own terms. To truly matter. And you, you cunts, you take it, and you fucking corrupt it, turn it into the exact opposite of what it is supposed to be. And so, you fucking corrupt yourselves. How dare you. You make me sick. (she turns to Yui once more) And don’t you dare give me the fucking sob story. I’ve heard it before. In the end, you’re no different from those fuckers who hurt you. The only way to escape is to let go. And if you won’t, I’ll do it for you.

Yui: Yeah? (She spits on the stage) Gimme my fuckin’ Soul Gem back and fuckin’ try it, then. Nihilistic bitch.

Shiori: (she squats down in front of Yui, holding the plastic bag above her head as if teasing a dog with food) Your Soul Gem? This thing doesn’t belong to you. You sold it, remember? Time to pay your fucking debts.

Yui: Heh. Idealistic chicken-shit.

Shiori: Bad choice of last words, hon. Hey, do you smell something? (she produces her father’s lighter from her back pocket and drops it into the plastic bag, immediately setting its contents, doused in gasoline, on fire, before tossing it off the stage)

Niko: No!

Yosuke: Ngh… What the? What’s in that bag? What’s going on?

Hotaru: S-Someone… help me! (she begins to writhe in pain, screaming as the flames begin to consume her Soul Gem)

Shiori: (she smirks) Always did think you were smoking ho—

Suddenly, Shiori freezes up, as if being paused by a remote control. Quick to notice, Punisher moves into action, but she too is completely immobilized in mid-air as she jumps from her vantage point atop a tower of speakers, soon followed by Moonlover and Worldeater, his face now fixed into a gloating smirk. Even Kyubey itself has stopped wagging its tail back and forth, now sitting still in the middle of the stage like a statue, its eyes devoid of any emotion as usual. 

Then, much to her surprise, Yui can sense her restraints being cut. She looks around at the frozen scene, but her eyes soon lock onto the flaming bag. She plunges her hand into the flames, feeling for her Soul Gem and transforming as soon as her burning fingers make contact. Once transformed, she carefully pulls the bag to her chest, dousing the flame, looking around for her benefactor.

Yui: Uh… pretty sure I can guess who it is that did this. I dunno how long we got, but I’ll get everyone on their feet. …Thanks. (She kneels down beside Shinju, pulling her Gem out from the smoldering bag and placing it in her hand)

Chiemi: (as if stepping through a tear in physical space, she appears behind Mei, cutting her loose and looking up at Yui) Whatever, thank me later— Watch out!

Moonlover: <Incoming!> (she hurls herself at Yui, tackling her, knocking the bag out of her hands and picking it up for herself) <I can play ball, too!>

Chiemi: (muttering an expletive, she raises her rifle at the nimble girl with the metallic legs) How did she break free so easily? (without much consideration, she fires a number of bullets at the girl)

Moonlover: (she deflects Chiemi’s projectiles with some swift, sweeping kicks) <Eh ben, using a rifle? That seems like tricher!>

Shinju: (Recovering, she throws herself towards Niko. Both of them dissolve into water, leaving their bonds behind and seeping down into the cracks in the stage. They reform in a dusty, dirty crawl space under the stage.) Are you okay, Niko? I have to get back out and help Yui and them! 

Niko: (she wipes some blood off her nose) W-What’s going on? Are these people some kind of death squad? Was this all just some… experiment to Kyubey? (she closes her eyes, shaking her head) No, you’re right… You need to save them, I… P-Please be safe.

Shinju: Yeah. Call me right away if they bust in here! (Shinju puts her hands on the ceiling of the crawl space, turning into water that spins back up through the cracks like an inverted whirlpool) 

As Shinju makes her way back into the fray, it has erupted into complete chaos. Chiemi desperately tries to aim her rifle at Moonlover, but her quick movements allow her to dodge her projectiles as she tries to keep the plastic bag with the Soul Gems out of Yui’s hands. In a corner of the stage, Yosuke sits, making himself as small as possible while shielding Koharu’s still unconscious body from the mayhem.

Yosuke: (he grabs Koharu’s by the shoulders and shakes) Come on… Wake up already!

Yui: Tch… (With something of a growl, she points a golden staff at Moonlover, trying to aim where she is moving and with a bang, a bolt of violet sparks crashes down against it, firing from the staff like a gun)

Moonlover: (she gleefully dodges one of Yui’s lightning bolts, teasingly twirling the bag around) <Ahaha! What do I get when I manage to dodge two hundred?> (she stuffs her hand into the bag, pulling out Mei’s and Hotaru’s Soul Gems and holding them in front of her face, creating a pair of glowing eyes) <Hey, who am I?> (she speaks in a thickly accented, mannered Japanese) Wooo, eye spy with my little eye, something that starts with an “eye”!

Chiemi: (furious, she points her rifle at Moonlover, firing away without any regard for the Soul Gems the girl is using as a shield)  Sʜᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴠᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ sʜɪᴛsᴛᴀɪɴ! Wʜᴀᴛ ᴅɪᴅ sʜᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs! Wʜʏ! Tᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ! WHY!

Moonlover: Bzzt! <That doesn’t start with an “I”! The answer is “the ins-eye-de of m-eye eyes!”! T’as compris?> (she laughs, a childlike, joyous laugh devoid of any malice, as she twirls away)

Chiemi: ANSWER ME! (her voice cracks as she dismisses her rifle, raising both arms as if she’s aiming twin pistols, her eyes glowing) NOW—(whatever Chiemi is doing, it is interrupted by Punisher, who suddenly breaks free of her suspension in mid-air and lands right on top of the infuriated sniper, reaching out her hand towards Moonlover)

Punisher: <Soul Gems, fool. Now.>

Moonlover: <Eh? How many times do I gotta tell you, I don’t speak Ch—>(out of nowhere, Hotaru, fully transformed, teleports behind Moonlover in mid-air, swinging a sword with all of her might.)

Before the girl with the metallic legs can turn around, the weapon digs itself into her neck. Hotaru grunts as the adrenaline rushes through her body, pushing through until she manages to separate Moonlover’s head from her body in a crude, but single stroke. A fountain of crimson blood spurts from the body’s neck as it collapses, dropping the two Gems, which unceremoniously roll away across the stage floor. A few feet away, the head lands, rolling away until eventually being caught by the curtains at the back of the stage.. For a second, no one moves, not even to retrieve the Soul Gems, now out in the open. 

Hotaru: (as soon as she realizes what she has done, however, Hotaru drops her weapon in shock, taking a few steps back as she looks at her bloodstained hands) H-H-Huh… W-What have I… Wha…

Then, immediately, everyone springs into action. Punisher’s gaze crosses Yui’s and she leaps off of Chiemi, as if ready to jump her next prey — the Soul Gems.

Yui: No you FUCKING DON’T! 

Yui leaps forward, tackling Punisher around the waist and away from the bag. Mei’s Soul Gem rolls out, and towards its owner, causing her to stir once more. 

Mei: Bwuh…? (shaking her head as the Gem makes contact, she takes a second of hesitation before transforming. She leaps up, megaphone in hand and screams into it) THAT’S ENOUGH!

Yosuke: (he recoils from Mei’s announcement, before turning to Koharu) Man, not even that’s gonna wake you up?

Punisher: Nggh…! (moving instinctively to plug her ears, she instead opts to roll off the stage, as if seeking cover in a trench)

Hotaru: My Soul Gem! (on hands and feet, she crawls out to grab the trinket, only to fall down again when she realizes she can’t get any further) Hhhgh…! W-Why can’t I— (she looks over her shoulder to see the headless body of Moonlover grabbing onto her leg) …! Y-You’ve gotta be kidding me!

Chiemi: (she looks up, noticing a grenade flying in an arch from Punisher’s position, aimed towards the centre of the stage) No no no, FUCK! HOTARU! GET US OUTTA HERE!

Hotaru: I-I can’t! My Gem! (she wriggles and shakes her leg, trying to kick it loose from Moonlover’s grip) Oh God, oh no, oh please, please, I don’t wanna, please— (the grenade lands onto the stage as Hotaru makes a lounge of fate, stretching out her arm until her fingers are just a hair away from her Soul Gem) Tele… port…

Mei: Hotaru!!! (she aims her megaphone downward, towards the grenade) Pleaseletthiswork pleaseletthiswork! (With a scream, a focused pulse of noise pushes the grenade off the stage, rolling back towards Punisher)

Punisher: Hm. (she takes a step back as the grenade approaches, before kicking it back up towards the corner of the stage where Shinju, Yosuke and Koharu are hiding)

Hotaru: No! (she manages to graze her Soul Gem, reaches out her free arm and—)

In an ear-splitting burst of heat and force, the grenade detonates, consuming the stage in fire and sending everyone in its blast radius flying into the backstage before setting it ablaze.

Chiemi: (she flies through the curtain at the back of the stage, protecting her Soul Gem with her hand before her heavily maimed body collapses against a wall, leaving a trail of blood smeared against it) … Ngh… (as her eyes flutter open, barely functional, she notices a shadow approaching her, slowly trudging towards from the epicenter of the explosion) … H-How…? She cut off… your head…

Moonlover: (her body horribly wounded, but once more fully outfitted, she slowly approaches Chiemi, dragging Hotaru’s lifeless body behind her as she grins) <Aww, you’re the only one left? But you’re boring!>

Chiemi: There… There were people here who aren’t even… aren’t even like us, you monster! People who just want to be left alone… Why did they have to die…? Wʜʏ ᴅɪᴅ Aᴋᴀʀɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪᴇ?

Moonlover: <Who’s that? Friend of yours? Why’re you asking me?> (without hesitation, she raises one of her legs high above Chiemi’s head, ready to finish the job)

Niko: AaaaaaaaaaᴀᴀᴀᴀAAAAHHH! (screaming her lungs out, she dashes at the iron-legged monster, tackling Moonlover with all her might) Hᴀɴᴅs ᴏғғ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ! (straddling herself on top of Moonlover, she begins pummeling her face) WHERE IS SHINJU! (punch) WHERE! (punch) IS! (punch) SHINJU!

Moonlover: (she grins, headbutting Niko in between punches, causing her other girl to recoil, clutching her head)

Yui: Four. (a bang, and a pulse of lightning courses through Moonlover’s body as the “bullet” makes contact with the back of her neck, without piercing the skin this time. A wounded Yui stands behind her, gazing down at Niko, then at Chiemi) …Hey, killer. Get us the fuck out of here.

Moonlover: Gh! (shuddering with electricity coursing through her body, she lays down her head again as Niko gets off of her) <Hehehe, run run run! Au revoir, mes amies! I can’t wai—> (the girl freezes up again as Chiemi shoots her once more)

Chiemi: (she shakily gets up, panting) Figure we’ve got about half a minute before she snaps out of it… Let’s go!

Niko: No… N-No, I’m not leaving without Shinju!

Chiemi: Are you kidding? She’s… They’ve all been bl—(she swallows, looking away) Niko, w-we can’t… I’m sorry.

Yui: (her eyes flutter a bit, a blue flash in them before she reaches down to pull Niko up to her feet) They’re not here. I didn’t see any bodies or pieces. …Besides Hotaru’s. Niko, you know what her power was, right? Shinju… Koharu, that boy… they’re fine. Just not here. Got it? Now let’s move. Oi… Mei? I can sense you, y’know.

Mei: (coughing, Mei emerges, holding her severed left arm in her right hand) J-Just… need to heal this. 

Niko: Hgl…! (she doubles up, vomiting onto the floor)

Yui: Oh fucking— God… what a mess. Heal it on the way. I taught you how. C’mon… we need to move. Now. …Oh god damn it, come here you.

Mei holds her arm roughly in the correct spot, and Yui sighs, wrapping a hand around where the limb connects to the rest of Mei’s body. Sparks emanate from her hand, and Mei yelps in pain before her arm moves again.

Mei: Motherfuck—! …Okay, I’m fine now. L-Let’s go. (pulling Niko’s arm around her freshly-reattached shoulder, she begins to walk towards the back exit of the auditorium, Yui and Chiemi following close behind)